Suffocating

Dear Myself,
Do you still exist?

Love Languages

I was thinking about “Love Languages” today. I found this book in this used bookstore about love languages and I sat down right then and there and took the test. This particular book generalized them into 5 different categories:  Physical Touch, Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and Quality Time. Those are the five. I am going to tell you mine in order of importance to me.

Quality Time (35). I enjoy spending time with people and I feel the most loved when someone wants to spend time with me. That is such a hard thing to give to someone yet it is one of the simplest things to give. Isn’t that fascinating? Would giving a friend 30 minutes of my time kill me? I submit that it probably will not. I am really bad at that game and am in desperate need of improvement.

Words of affirmation (28). Yeah, I am one of those annoying people that needs to be reassured every so often. Every so often I need someone to say, “Hey Geneil, you are doing this right.” A little reassurance gets me a long way in almost every aspect of my life.

Acts of Service (26). Once upon a time, a good friend of mine took my old guitar and polished it up and gave it new strings and tuned it for me. He oiled the fret board and put some new finish on it. You know, I have never forgotten that and I have been devoted to him ever since.

Gift Giving (6). When my residents used to leave me little gifts it would make my whole day. One little Hershey’s Kiss on my doorknob when I got home from school brought a smile to my face every time. One little act of kindness like that can mean so much to so many people.

Physical touch (5). Most of the people I know score the highest in this area. And for me it is the lowest. I am okay with physical touch sometimes. I am getting better about it. But really, it’s not that important to me to know that I am loved. Let's just say, I don't thrive on it.

Aren't those categories great? I thought they were all  well labeled. Sure it's general, but most things can fit into one of those five categories. I have been lacking in my love giving, lately. I am trying to be better. Hence the reason this has been on my mind so much recently. What's your number one love language?

The Great Unknown....commonly referred to as Grad School

I started looking at Graduate schools today. How scary is that? I feel like I just started at SUU (Southern Utah University) a year ago. But no, I have been here for four years already and have one year left. Grad School is looming on the horizon, looking at me in the face with big scary eyes. I am not usually all that good with uncharted waters anyway. And now I have to pick a place and go spend 2 or 3 years of my life there? Now that’s just scary.

I have a list of about ten schools that I am looking into. Naturally, I am not going to apply to all ten. So I have to narrow it down. It is, of course, subject to change and I am sure that I will be researching many other schools.

Bowling Green State University (Bowling Green, Ohio)

Brigham Young University (Provo, Utah)
John Hopkins University-Peabody Institute (Baltimore, Maryland)

Michigan State University (East Lansing, Michigan)

New England Conservatory (Boston, Massachusetts)

University of Maryland (College Park, Maryland)

University of Michigan (Ann Arbor, Michigan)

University of North Texas (Denton, Texas)

University of Southern California (Los Angeles, California)

University of Wisconsin (Madison, Wisconsin)

So those are some of the possibilities. They all have excellent music programs. I am very interested in the University of Maryland right now. I have been emailing someone who is getting their Master’s in music there and it sounds like just the kind of place I would love. I am trying to look up teachers and fellowships and all of these things and it’s fairly terrifying. I thought looking for an undergrad school was bad. Try looking into Grad schools. There are so many factors. Especially since I haven’t even really decided what I am going to be getting my Master’s in. Vocal Performance? Music Therapy? Choral Conducting? Vocal Pedagogy? AM I EVEN GOING TO DO MUSIC AT ALL? Yeesh. Somebody save me from myself.

I am researching these schools with the idea that I am going to attend them and study Voice Performance and Opera. But if THAT changes, I will let you know.

In all of my free time...

I started a blog. Don’t worry. In all of my free time I decided to log my life on the internet for my friends and family to see. As a music major I have all of the free time in the world.

That’s a joke. If you don’t get it…don’t worry, I’m sure you will in due time.

As I sat in my room pondering whether or not to start blogging, a thought came to me: WHY, Geneil? Why on earth would you do such a thing? And the fact of the matter is, I rarely get to talk to my family members and the friends that I don’t live with. And I came home for Christmas to get an outpour of “Geneil, you never answer your phone” or “Geneil, you never call, you never write, what is going on with you? How’s your life?”

I love everyone. It’s true. If you know me, you know that I tend to love everyone. Even if I don’t like them, I usually still love them. And I really want to keep in contact with everyone that I love. I really mean that. And so I was talking to Schwester Eins (Dominique) about blogging and she said, “Hey, I’d actually know what you were doing in your life if you had a blog. I have one.” So I said “Okay Schwester Eins. I will do it.”

So here I am. Blog post the first.

We’ll see how this whole thing goes.

I prematurely apologize for my inconsistency. I never have been a remarkably consistent person.

Are you shocked? Me neither.

This is Geneil. Signing off.